I currently stopped sarging after school started and decided to fully develop a lifestyle and a social circle that will bring me more women into my life. Sarging was certainly great and I learned a lot, but I feel like now is the time to use the skills I've learned from the Game and use it to develop more friendships to enlarge my social circle and to be more involved in social scenes. Instead of going to a random bar or Union Square and create a relationship with someone I've just met out of thin air, it is much easier for me NOW to meet women with some context and connection ALREADY in place. It makes meeting them A LOT easier than before and with the skills I've learned from the GAME, my success rate is much higher than before.
Also, after I stopped sarging, I'm starting to feel more emotionally stable. I've been really working on cultivating a lifestyle that not only builds up social value, but my economical and potential value. I am a college student and my identity as a student is really important for me to maintain. If I have to call myself a Pick-up artist, which has no value whatsoever (except to AFCs or guys who are desperately in need of women) then women have nothing more to see inside of me. But if I work hard to get good grades in school, and bait that in conversation as one of my values, my value to woman's eyes (especially to women of high-self esteem) grows. It's really important to build an IDENTITY and a LIFE to me because they are 90% of what I talk about. The other 10% are flirtatious/romantic comments and connection building. I think what most guys forget doing is building an attractive lifestyle and identity, thus limiting the women they attract towards them. Most advanced guys I know have good careers and interesting lifestyles, and so I've shifted my focus from a sarging mentality to building attractive qualities.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
Some Answers About "Neediness"
I took this from Stephen and decided to post this on my blog. This is really helpful and a great place to start to get yourself to become more attractive to women.
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Want to know the REAL reason women are turned-off by men? The answer might surprise you.
You’re probably thinking it has to do with your haircut, the pleats in your pants, or your bank account. In fact, it usually has NOTHING to do with these things.
I cover this in absurd detail in my ebook How To Get A Girlfriend, but here's a brief overview...
I remember being blown off by a girl in college. I had asked her out, and she gave me the classic, “Let me call you back, OK?” Well, I am sure you know the rest of this sad tale. She never called. However, I did run into her a few weeks later and asked her out again. I figured she had “forgotten” to call!
What she told me completely changed my life:
“You’re too needy, I don’t like that. I want a man I can trust, not someone who is clingy and needs me” (she emphasized "needs"...ugh)
Wow….my head spun for days. I couldn’t believe she had said that. And, what’s more, I couldn’t believe she could TELL after having only met me for 10 minutes!
Well, that began my journey to being successful with dating and women. The sting of those remarks has never left me!
What I learned over the years may surprise you. There are CLASSIC and CONSISTENT ways guys project neediness when meeting new women. Here they are:
1) Ask Too Many Questions: There is nothing wrong with being curious and inquisitive. However, if that is all you do when you meet a new woman, you are subtly telling her that you are seeking rapport with her while knowing NOTHING about her. There needs to be a balance of questions, statements, observations, stories etc. The amount of talking needs to be shared equally between the two of you - 50/50. If you find yourself rifling off boring questions like “Where are you from?”, “What’s Your Sign?”, “What’s Your Bra Size?”…you are in serious trouble. (Note: Check out this recent article of mine which covers this in greater detail)
2) Needy Body Language: A great tool you can own is the ability to read body language. Imagine a conversation where one person is leaning into another. Perhaps they are making a point, or perhaps they are trying to listen to what the other has to say. Which has the power? You guessed it – it’s the one standing upright, not the one leaning. How is your body language right now as you read this? Are you hunched over at your desk, or are you sitting tall in your chair? Empower yourself by changing your body language. Never lean in to a woman, and always sit or stand tall. There are no exceptions to this rule. Let her lean into you.
3) Weak Vocal Tone: If you are afraid of being heard, you communicate timidity, neediness and insecurity. If you project your voice, with a confident tone you ALSO say you expect to be heard and are confident in what you have to say. I cannot stress the importance of a powerful vocal tone – it is ESSENTIAL.
If you are able to master these, you will prevent the SYMPTOMS of neediness from appearing. However, the best and surest way to remedy these is to tackle the problem head-on. How do you do that?
Study this one word:
AUTONOMY
Now, if you want to clearly “get” why this idea is critical for you to understand, and why it is ESSENTIAL that you internalize it, then check out the CEIC Classic audio program Natural Attraction wherein I lead you through a step-by-step process to both develop autonomy (ie - a man leading his OWN life) while reducing your neediness and dependence upon women for validation and approval. I also help you develop an action plan to put you on the FAST TRACK for success. This of course includes countless tips and strategies for actually conversing with women - but it is the ONLY product which collaborates with you to help cultivate a fulfilling and empowering lifestyle.
So, enough of being needy and clingy with women. You are destroying your chances before you even start!
As always, please let me know if you have any questions by posting below. It's always great hearing from guys.
As always, good luck!
Stephen Nash.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Want to know the REAL reason women are turned-off by men? The answer might surprise you.
You’re probably thinking it has to do with your haircut, the pleats in your pants, or your bank account. In fact, it usually has NOTHING to do with these things.
I cover this in absurd detail in my ebook How To Get A Girlfriend, but here's a brief overview...
I remember being blown off by a girl in college. I had asked her out, and she gave me the classic, “Let me call you back, OK?” Well, I am sure you know the rest of this sad tale. She never called. However, I did run into her a few weeks later and asked her out again. I figured she had “forgotten” to call!
What she told me completely changed my life:
“You’re too needy, I don’t like that. I want a man I can trust, not someone who is clingy and needs me” (she emphasized "needs"...ugh)
Wow….my head spun for days. I couldn’t believe she had said that. And, what’s more, I couldn’t believe she could TELL after having only met me for 10 minutes!
Well, that began my journey to being successful with dating and women. The sting of those remarks has never left me!
What I learned over the years may surprise you. There are CLASSIC and CONSISTENT ways guys project neediness when meeting new women. Here they are:
1) Ask Too Many Questions: There is nothing wrong with being curious and inquisitive. However, if that is all you do when you meet a new woman, you are subtly telling her that you are seeking rapport with her while knowing NOTHING about her. There needs to be a balance of questions, statements, observations, stories etc. The amount of talking needs to be shared equally between the two of you - 50/50. If you find yourself rifling off boring questions like “Where are you from?”, “What’s Your Sign?”, “What’s Your Bra Size?”…you are in serious trouble. (Note: Check out this recent article of mine which covers this in greater detail)
2) Needy Body Language: A great tool you can own is the ability to read body language. Imagine a conversation where one person is leaning into another. Perhaps they are making a point, or perhaps they are trying to listen to what the other has to say. Which has the power? You guessed it – it’s the one standing upright, not the one leaning. How is your body language right now as you read this? Are you hunched over at your desk, or are you sitting tall in your chair? Empower yourself by changing your body language. Never lean in to a woman, and always sit or stand tall. There are no exceptions to this rule. Let her lean into you.
3) Weak Vocal Tone: If you are afraid of being heard, you communicate timidity, neediness and insecurity. If you project your voice, with a confident tone you ALSO say you expect to be heard and are confident in what you have to say. I cannot stress the importance of a powerful vocal tone – it is ESSENTIAL.
If you are able to master these, you will prevent the SYMPTOMS of neediness from appearing. However, the best and surest way to remedy these is to tackle the problem head-on. How do you do that?
Study this one word:
AUTONOMY
Now, if you want to clearly “get” why this idea is critical for you to understand, and why it is ESSENTIAL that you internalize it, then check out the CEIC Classic audio program Natural Attraction wherein I lead you through a step-by-step process to both develop autonomy (ie - a man leading his OWN life) while reducing your neediness and dependence upon women for validation and approval. I also help you develop an action plan to put you on the FAST TRACK for success. This of course includes countless tips and strategies for actually conversing with women - but it is the ONLY product which collaborates with you to help cultivate a fulfilling and empowering lifestyle.
So, enough of being needy and clingy with women. You are destroying your chances before you even start!
As always, please let me know if you have any questions by posting below. It's always great hearing from guys.
As always, good luck!
Stephen Nash.
Monday, September 04, 2006
The True Definition of Success
I just remembered this old post that used to motivate me A LOT on all areas of my life. This post is definitely one of the best contributions IN10SE has ever made in the community.
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Hey man,
Maybe at some level people think that when someone has "arrived" at success they don't have anything left to motivate them.
But really I don't think there is any such thing as success because it is defined in the moment by who you are and how you rise to each opportunity and challenge.
Screw the static definition - because by definition, if someone defines themselves by one moment in time or one achievement in time, then they get stuck in that time - and stop moving on into the future.
There is no failure - only feedback - there is no success - only feedback... be the best you can be in any given moment and let the moment define who you are.
Deep - I know... sometimes I surprise myself ;)
IN10SE
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey man,
Maybe at some level people think that when someone has "arrived" at success they don't have anything left to motivate them.
But really I don't think there is any such thing as success because it is defined in the moment by who you are and how you rise to each opportunity and challenge.
Screw the static definition - because by definition, if someone defines themselves by one moment in time or one achievement in time, then they get stuck in that time - and stop moving on into the future.
There is no failure - only feedback - there is no success - only feedback... be the best you can be in any given moment and let the moment define who you are.
Deep - I know... sometimes I surprise myself ;)
IN10SE
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