Why you Might Be Wasting Your Time

Stephen Nash just wrote a VERY interesting post on the community.

Take a look at it here: www.ceimageconsulting.com

Why You Might Be Wasting Your Time

I tend to meet with client once per week these days, and a very common theme has emerged. Many of them emerge from working various programs, attending various workshops, reading every book known to man, only to be more frustrated and downtrodden because it doesn't seem to work out for them.

The carrot can't be caught in other words...

Not to entirely frustrate you, but usually guys who are good at the 'game' were good at it already...or pretty good at it already...the only brain which thinks a bunch of lines and gimmicks are going to work is the same brain that led you to be frustrated, lonely, and socially awkward in the first place. Let me repeat that:

"the only brain which thinks a bunch of lines and gimmicks are going to work is the same brain that led you to be frustrated, lonely, and socially awkward in the first place"

In other words, your diagnosis might be a bit off.

The community - whether it's a competing company, a web-board, a lair..whatever - thrives on dangling a carrot out there in front of you claiming that your life will change in 13 seconds if you just buy this product...etc...

This methodology is certainly lucrative - just ask Tony Robbins - but it doesn't usually translate into success. THERE IS NO QUICK FIX TO YOUR PROBLEM...and anyone who claims otherwise doesn't deserve your attention, money, time, or bandwidth.

Most of what you read online is total BS by the way - the webboards which feature endless posts by supposed experts are normally 30% truth. I have watched so many guys doctor and change their posts to relay a much larger, and more glorified representation of the truth. HB6's suddenly are HB9's etc.

So, what follows is a reasonable expectation for you - something actually attainable - and not something designed to get you to purchase my products.

1) Begin - analyze your social life. How many friends do you have? How many are male and how many are female? How often do you see them? How often do you go out with a friend or a group of friends? How do you meet new women (if at all)? How do you make friends? If you have had a relationship, how did it happen? (In my experience, a guy tends to meet women the same way his entire life - so, if the last 9 girlfriends you had were met via another friend, my money is on the next one happening that way IN SPITE of how you feel about cold approaches).

2) Once you have written down some honest answers, give yourself SMALL goals to reach with a month's time to reach them. So, if your social circle is 5 people - try to double it in a month's time. Within a month, your circle has grown to 10...

3) If you don't meet 5 new people on a weekly basis, your social life is not active enough. If that is the case, you need to branch out. Here are some ideas:

- classes
- events
- openings
- parties
- hobbies
- friends
- cold approach (notice how this is one of 7 ways...)

MOST couples come together via social circle - NOT THROUGH COLD APPROACHING - so, why waste your time trying to get good at that when you can easily get good at the others, meet TONS of new women (and make cool guy friends) and improve your lifestyle as a result?

Why put your life on hold just to get laid? Why not accelerate your life forward, and then get laid or even....meet someone for a relationship...

4) Lead your social circle - study all about John Goddard, make your list, get started and then invite everyone else to come along for the ride...LEAD in other words. Become the magnet to mission, purpose and excitement.

5) And by the way - what IS your mission or purpose in your life anyway?? Do you know? If not, now would be a good time to write a bit about that and start to get an idea...nothing as unattractive as a loose balloon being blown about by the wind...

6) Go to a tailor and get fitted for your sizes right away. Never buy clothing that doesn't fit again.

7) Get in shape - go to the gym MINIMUM 3 times per week. And if you want to know...I swim...and love it...great for the mind, body, joints, you name it.

8) Clean your apartment - do it tonight. Wash the dishes when you're done eating, and make your bed in the morning.

9) Go to the dentist, and have your teeth cleaned. Be sure to correct any bad breath issues you may have. You might be the nicest, coolest, most handsome guy in the world - and with bad breath, you'll never see approaching lips...

10) Stop wasting your time doing things you like, and only go things you love...

Now remember, set reasonable expectations on your progress. Nothing worthwhile is going to happen in even a month. But a year from now - and trust me, that is not long and is WAY shorter than the amount of time needed to get good at the cold approach - you can expect very significant progress and change, if you are diligent and disciplined.

If you want a girlfriend, and a healthy relationship - YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME DOING COLD APPROACHES. You must create a lifestyle and image which are attractive and healthy - you can't have a healthy relationship with another until you have one with yourself - which means honoring your deepest wishes, and the precious time you have here on earth (this is first and foremost)! Stop wasting time...start really living, and watch as your entire framework for relating to women change.

And to finish the first paragraph - my job, as a reporter recently noted, is to rewire guys away from the community beliefs, into beliefs which actually serve and are rooted in REALITY...that's what I do about once per week...not bad, but a shame that so many well-intentioned guys get such bad direction from other equally clueless guys...

HOT Cold READING TIPS FROM IN10SE.....

I received this from IN10SE's newsletter.  This great although it may be a
little too late to post.  Hopefully, before you guys go out you read these hot tips!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First of all, Happy Halloween! Halloween is probably one of my most
favorite holidays just because of the fact that you get to be
anything you want - if only for one day.

And that, my friends is KEY.

What people choose to be says a lot about their "shadow".

And I use this simple fact for some GREAT cold reading routines
which I'll give away later on.

But first let me tell you about the "shadow". Carl Jung was one of
Freuds colleagues and one of the major founders of Psychology as we
know it today.

He believed that everyone has a "shadow" - a side that they don't
show to the world. You see, he believed that we're born completely
whole
and as we grow and develop, the culture that we grow up in tells us
what's good (i.e. What to show to the world) and what's bad
(i.e.what NOT to show to the world).

And so we repress the parts of ourselves that we think are bad. For
women, this may be the powerful, dominant, sex driven parts of them.

But remember also the principle that "What is repressed - will
eventually get expressed..." often in ways that we're not aware of.

See the power in this? Everyone has a shadow... What if you could
get someone to "step into their shadow" with you... It is like
having the key to unlock the wild side of any lover.

Well my books show you how to do that.

But let me get to the cold reads... These are GREAT for
conversational openers and themes - and they lead right into my
shadow theme as well.

If you've read any of my material, then you know that this is the
only intro you'll need to take it all the way!

You open the cold read with:

"Interesting - you know what your costume tells me about who you
REALLY are?

If their costume is a:
1) Princess/Snow White/Sleeping Beauty/Fairy/Angel
- they believe in fairy tale endings
- they are romantic and idealistic
- they believe the world to be a place filled with magic and wonder
- they are soft hearted and warm most of the time
- they want to be "swept away" by their prince charming

2) Witch/Vampiress/Devil
- they have a dark "naughty" side that they let out more than
occaisionally
- they definitely have an edge and like to live life that way
- they tend to be physical types who are active and would rather do
something than just think about it all day
- they are pretty sexual and like power play
- they can be dominant in their relationships but in sex they often
like to be dominated

3) Clown/comedian/cartoon character
- they have a great sense of humor, most people don't "get" them.
- they tend to be optimistic and light hearted
- they like to laugh and have fun
- they don't like to take things too seriously

4) A schoolgirl/child/baby
- they see themselves as "innocent" or would like to return to a
stage in life when things weren't as complicated
- they love children
- they love to "play" and love to be taken care of
- they are attracted to authority figure types like "daddy" types

5) Schoolteacher/Nurse/Cop and other authority figures
- they like to be in control in their relationships but like to be
dominated sexually (at least some times!)
- they like to be served and pampered
- they have a "superiority complex" sometimes
- if they actually ARE the profession that they dress up as (i.e. A
"sexy nurse" that actually IS a nurse...etc) they ARE sexy
creatures and KNOW it!

6) HO/hooker/call girl
They ARE a ho!

Anyway, these are just a few for you guys to have fun with.

For techniques on where to go from the opener and how to powerfully
build a connection and escalate things physically then go to:

http://www.social-mastery.com

Enjoy!

IN10SE

Secrets to Successful Internet Dating

I found this article on ezinearticles.com and it is written by Stephen. This received a lot of attention in ezine so I'm here to pass the information on. I also think he has another new great article on his blog on internet dating. Take a look at it here: www.ceimageconsulting.com.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Secrets to Successful Internet Dating

Many guys nowadays are going online to meet women. And why not? There are some great services out there, and we have all heard too many success stories to downplay the potential of meeting great women online.

For starters, the best online services are nerve.com, match.com and lavalife.com. They are the best because they are the most popular. Being the most popular, they give you the best choice.

If you are skeptical about online dating, join the club. But, before you write it off completely, go to one of the above sites and do a free search. That should convince you that there are many attractive women who are looking for men online. So, why not try it out?

It is the social norm for men to approach women. So, if you are out at a bar or club and you see an attractive woman, you will have to approach her to meet her. Women typically don’t approach men in social settings. They will signal their interest to you in many ways, but the actual “move” will have to be made by you.

The beauty of internet dating is that it gives women a forum to indicate what they want without it being embarrassing or socially “unacceptable”. This helps to simplify things for men too – before you even send your initial email, you know some things about her and what she is looking for.

Let’s cover some of the basic must’s to successful internet dating:

1) The most important thing to have on your profile is good pictures. This should be obvious. Initial attraction is so critical when beginning a relationship. If it is not there, the two people will never come together.

To give yourself a fighting chance, get some good pictures of yourself. I am not talking about getting a pro photographer in tow, but rather have a friend with a digital camera take 20-30 pictures of you. Pick out three to four, and use them to launch your profile.

It’s a good idea to put up a variety of pictures, such as: one in a suit, one dressed casually, one of you doing a hobby or conveying an interest of yours. Also, make sure you are smiling. Don’t be one of those guys that posts pics with his shirt off, or with Zoolander male model face. Those are basically female-repellant. And please guys, don’t make them pornographic – G-rated pictures only.

2) Next, you will have to send your initial email. This should be fairly short, but needs to be both funny and insightful. In other words, be sure to read her profile – let me repeat that – be sure to read her profile! So many guys send out standard emails to women online, and it is obvious to them that you have taken no time to read about her. If you read the profile, can make a light joke out of something she reveals, compliment her and share something in common, you have a strong chance of hearing back from her.

3) A great place to be humorous is in the subject line. She is more likely to open your email if it catches her attention. A great way to do this is with a humorous remark about something in her profile. Be sure to keep the humor lite, and never, NEVER, make fun of her picture.

4) As for the connection, be sure to quickly indicate that you have things in common with her. This helps to alleviate her anxiety about meeting you. If you have nothing in common, she will feel like there will be nothing to talk about and the date will be awkward and uncomfortable. For the purposes of the first contact, begin a conversation with her by indicating that you share commonalities.

To summarize, in the first email you want to cover these three things: humor, a compliment and make a connection.

A few final notes:

 Never use the “wink” function. “Wink”ing is for women to signal their interest to you. If she “wink”s, you send an email.

 Feel free to ask for her phone number after a couple of rounds of messages. A simple, “why don’t we continue this by phone? I am happy to call you. If you’re comfortable with that, reply with your number, and we’ll take it from there.”

 When on the phone, be sure to keep it very light, again using humor as much as possible. Talk for a few minutes, then arrange to meet her.

 The first date needs to be something where no $ is spent. Why? Sometimes, one or both of you are not happy with the look of the other. People often put up very flattering pictures, which don’t resemble their actual look in real life. So, meet at a gallery, or a park, or a free event. You don’t want to walk away from a first internet date having spent $50 on a meal do you? Meeting for coffee, in this case, is also a good idea.

 If you are out with her, and you do like her, a great compliment is: “You know, your pictures are great, but you are much more attractive in real life.” This way, you help her relax. She is definitely going to feel awkward with her appearance and will hope you find her attractive. Put her mind at ease, and about 20 minutes into the date tell her she looks great.

 Lastly, the first date is a total wash. It is really to see if both of you feel any attraction. Make no fast decisions about personality and style after a first internet date. Usually, both you and she are very guarded. Wait until the second date at least until you begin to feel out her personality, her values, her style etc.

 Last, but not least – and this may be the best kept secret to internet dating. Be sure you check out the profiles of the women without pictures. Why, you ask? Often, these women are VERY attractive and don’t have a pic up because they want to avoid getting 50+ emails per day from guys online. I am dead serious about this one guys. They post a profile in hopes that someone will actually READ it (hint) and treat them like a person, rather than a hot body. Be sure though that you get a picture from her before you meet her. That is fair, and she will understand. It is also true that very unattractive women do not include pictures.

So, good luck with the fascinating world of internet dating. I hope this has been helpful. As always, I wish you the best.

Your friend,

Stephen Nash
Cutting Edge Image Consulting

1-on-1 With Stephen Part II

One thing I noticed about him, even though he didn't explicitly state it, is that he spoke very visually and kinesthetically that I could see why he's soo captivating. Add that skill with all the interesting tidbits about your life, and you're most likely the most interesting person people will ever perceive. I also noticed that Stephen was VERY Knowleagable, he has a huge vocabulary, and that added to his genuine curiosity and vibe, because as he was interlacing stories and baiting things about my life, he described everything in his Own words and using his own Descriptive words, which totally made it looked like he owned the experience and my life. Stephen has this quality because he's not only intelligent but he himself lives an interesting life, he's seen and travelled to many areas in the world, has lived and experienced many things, and his life seems so lively and fullfilling that he just never runs out of things to talk about.

This is EXACTLY why CEIC always encourages guys to challenge themselves, to actually live an interesting life instead of taking someone elses material and use it. It's a lot better to actually be congruent with your words with actions, since Stephen strongly emphasizes, "A girl will know that you've been faking it all afterwards, once you've dropped all the routines and the robotic performance, what have YOU got to show?" which is an EXCELLENT point to make. I am very fortunate to reach him first before I took any other workshop before, because I've seen and spoken to some wings, and some of them look completely mechanical and took the word ALPHA to whole a different meaning.

One thing I noticed about his difference between his approach and Juggler's method is the frame control. Juggler emphasizes that the girl or the group of people should be interesting, and your job is to make them look like it by charming and complimenting the set. Stephen on the other hand emphasizes that you should be interesting as well as steering the conversation in the art of relation, that you relate to everybody, and the frame should be in your world at first, to create a context and a vision of how your world looks like because in order for anyone to start a relationship, any relationship (business, girlfriend, friend, etc....), because to start ANY relationship each person HAS to get to know each other first. By opening yourself to get a girl to know you through baiting and storytelling, a picture of your world plants into the girl's head and she now has an idea of how your world is like, your personality, and values. In addition to that, add a little flirting, you have a strong chance of generating attraction. Juggler and Stephen both also emphasizes genuine compliments instead of using the most overrated tool, the neg. By complimenting her genuinely, you actually ease her and get her to open up, by showing you're actually focusing on the person and not on her looks. Add that with a nice, authentic, and gentlemanly demeanor, and you most likely won’t even NEED a neg because there won’t be a bitch shield to encounter.

He then broke down the truth about the bitch shield, and the reason why women puts it up is it’s because they don’t TRUST you the minute talk to her. That’s why he emphasizes not to dress outlandishly, and not to dress too conservative either, but to tailor your style to one the type of women you want to attract to your life. By dressing outlandishly and eye captivating in a way that you are “peacocking,” it’s an obvious signal to women that YOU are trying to get their attention. Stephen says that women of high quality would think you’re dressed childishly and immaturely.

Part III to continue......

1-on-1 With Stephen Part 1

I wrote this around late this summer while my idea of creating a blog for myself was in the works. This is part one of CEIC's 1-on-1 Stephen, a deep, detailed inner/outer game work to cultivate oneself to become attractive to women. This review is very detailed so I decided to cut the review in half and post the other half later. I'm not entirely finished with it but there is a lot of information to get out from this review. I'm going to try to tell all my readers EVERYTHING that I learned from Stephen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was able to sign up a session with one of Stephen (AKA "Playboy from the Game") and the guy totally blew me away. I've always been a fan of CEIC ever since I purchased his Natural Attraction Audio last December. Stephen's approach to meeting women is almost against what's said out there in the community, but what's interesting is it seems like Tyler Durden is also starting to incorporate the same approach as Stephen's. I'll most likely write a review to his Natural Attraction Audio, which I think is one of the best sources to learn about dating. The reason why I like CEIC sooo much is because their step-by-step plan is soooooo easy to incorporate, sooo easy to personalize and take in as your own structure that once mastered, you'll be extremely smooth, socially savvy, and a total chick magnet (especially to women of high caliber).

One thing also differentiated Stephen from other Pick-up/Dating Instructors out there is that it was very personalized and I thought out of all of them, he was the most authentic. The first couple of hours was just him getting to know you, the qualities you like about women, your future goals, where you currently stand, etc. He takes all of these information, takes notes about you (mostly to e-mail you about what was talked about in the session and to give you more advice), and starts to have a small inner game session about your current perceptions and approach to living life and meeting women. He takes these tidbits of information and shows where you have limiting beliefs, what's holding you back from becoming your best self, and reframes these and then gives you lots of advice on how to achieve your goals.

His analogy of how a typical AFC achieves his goals (can also fall on girls), is that we tend to stay in the shallow water and are afraid to go deep ourselves or just stops pursuing at all after testing the waters, that we never find out ourselves what's truly at the bottom of the water. He claims that once you've encountered resistance and are being tested, that's when you know who you truly are, and this will reflect in your relationships with others. At first, I was totally confused and bewildered with what he meant by that but then once he started leading me SOCRATICALLY to know what it’s like to be a really attractive, a man with direction, challenging, and moving forward towards his goals, I TOTALLY understood this concept. Essentially, the reason why Stephen does this in the first couple of hours is to actually get you to PHYSICALLY step in to become an attractive man, one that attracts the type of women he likes/yearns for, and he does this by breaking down where you are at and then giving you advice on how to get your BEST self, which is getting those goals you've been looking into and actually growing the same qualities that you've mentioned you want from the woman of your dreams.

Basically his structure is ENGAGE, HOOK, and make QUICK CONNECTIONS, which is VERY simple and all you need to know are a few techniques such as his ultimate weapon: the art of baiting, the context of your life in midst conversation, interlace that with the topics you and the girl are talking about, add that with a little flirting (which Stephen doesn't highly emphasize very much, and if you're wondering why, I will get into that later), teasing, storytelling, and inner game, and you've become one the most charismatic, smoothest guys in the world. I was amazed while Stephen was doing demonstrations, he would use the little tidbits of information he knew about me and interlace them into stories and bait so much information about me in a topic, and he came off so congruent with everything, that he could've gotten away with being me (THANK GOD he's not into Identity Theft). He also came of as very Authentic, non-gimmicky, and very Natural, that everything he DID never came across as "I'm so full of myself I like talking about me" or “trying too hard” frame, and everything was in the context of the conversation that he came off as very GENUINE. The very skill of taking any context and using it to become interesting is an AMAZING skill and is one I would TRULY love to develop.

Recent Developments with My Lifestyle

I currently stopped sarging after school started and decided to fully develop a lifestyle and a social circle that will bring me more women into my life. Sarging was certainly great and I learned a lot, but I feel like now is the time to use the skills I've learned from the Game and use it to develop more friendships to enlarge my social circle and to be more involved in social scenes. Instead of going to a random bar or Union Square and create a relationship with someone I've just met out of thin air, it is much easier for me NOW to meet women with some context and connection ALREADY in place. It makes meeting them A LOT easier than before and with the skills I've learned from the GAME, my success rate is much higher than before.

Also, after I stopped sarging, I'm starting to feel more emotionally stable. I've been really working on cultivating a lifestyle that not only builds up social value, but my economical and potential value. I am a college student and my identity as a student is really important for me to maintain. If I have to call myself a Pick-up artist, which has no value whatsoever (except to AFCs or guys who are desperately in need of women) then women have nothing more to see inside of me. But if I work hard to get good grades in school, and bait that in conversation as one of my values, my value to woman's eyes (especially to women of high-self esteem) grows. It's really important to build an IDENTITY and a LIFE to me because they are 90% of what I talk about. The other 10% are flirtatious/romantic comments and connection building. I think what most guys forget doing is building an attractive lifestyle and identity, thus limiting the women they attract towards them. Most advanced guys I know have good careers and interesting lifestyles, and so I've shifted my focus from a sarging mentality to building attractive qualities.

Some Answers About "Neediness"

I took this from Stephen and decided to post this on my blog. This is really helpful and a great place to start to get yourself to become more attractive to women.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want to know the REAL reason women are turned-off by men? The answer might surprise you.

You’re probably thinking it has to do with your haircut, the pleats in your pants, or your bank account. In fact, it usually has NOTHING to do with these things.

I cover this in absurd detail in my ebook How To Get A Girlfriend, but here's a brief overview...

I remember being blown off by a girl in college. I had asked her out, and she gave me the classic, “Let me call you back, OK?” Well, I am sure you know the rest of this sad tale. She never called. However, I did run into her a few weeks later and asked her out again. I figured she had “forgotten” to call!

What she told me completely changed my life:

“You’re too needy, I don’t like that. I want a man I can trust, not someone who is clingy and needs me” (she emphasized "needs"...ugh)

Wow….my head spun for days. I couldn’t believe she had said that. And, what’s more, I couldn’t believe she could TELL after having only met me for 10 minutes!

Well, that began my journey to being successful with dating and women. The sting of those remarks has never left me!

What I learned over the years may surprise you. There are CLASSIC and CONSISTENT ways guys project neediness when meeting new women. Here they are:

1) Ask Too Many Questions: There is nothing wrong with being curious and inquisitive. However, if that is all you do when you meet a new woman, you are subtly telling her that you are seeking rapport with her while knowing NOTHING about her. There needs to be a balance of questions, statements, observations, stories etc. The amount of talking needs to be shared equally between the two of you - 50/50. If you find yourself rifling off boring questions like “Where are you from?”, “What’s Your Sign?”, “What’s Your Bra Size?”…you are in serious trouble. (Note: Check out this recent article of mine which covers this in greater detail)

2) Needy Body Language: A great tool you can own is the ability to read body language. Imagine a conversation where one person is leaning into another. Perhaps they are making a point, or perhaps they are trying to listen to what the other has to say. Which has the power? You guessed it – it’s the one standing upright, not the one leaning. How is your body language right now as you read this? Are you hunched over at your desk, or are you sitting tall in your chair? Empower yourself by changing your body language. Never lean in to a woman, and always sit or stand tall. There are no exceptions to this rule. Let her lean into you.

3) Weak Vocal Tone: If you are afraid of being heard, you communicate timidity, neediness and insecurity. If you project your voice, with a confident tone you ALSO say you expect to be heard and are confident in what you have to say. I cannot stress the importance of a powerful vocal tone – it is ESSENTIAL.

If you are able to master these, you will prevent the SYMPTOMS of neediness from appearing. However, the best and surest way to remedy these is to tackle the problem head-on. How do you do that?

Study this one word:

AUTONOMY

Now, if you want to clearly “get” why this idea is critical for you to understand, and why it is ESSENTIAL that you internalize it, then check out the CEIC Classic audio program Natural Attraction wherein I lead you through a step-by-step process to both develop autonomy (ie - a man leading his OWN life) while reducing your neediness and dependence upon women for validation and approval. I also help you develop an action plan to put you on the FAST TRACK for success. This of course includes countless tips and strategies for actually conversing with women - but it is the ONLY product which collaborates with you to help cultivate a fulfilling and empowering lifestyle.

So, enough of being needy and clingy with women. You are destroying your chances before you even start!

As always, please let me know if you have any questions by posting below. It's always great hearing from guys.

As always, good luck!


Stephen Nash.