Chivalry and The Court of Love

Why you Might Be Wasting Your Time

2006-11-13T10:41:00.000-08:00

Stephen Nash just wrote a VERY interesting post on the community.

Take a look at it here: www.ceimageconsulting.com

Why You Might Be Wasting Your Time

I tend to meet with client once per week these days, and a very common theme has emerged. Many of them emerge from working various programs, attending various workshops, reading every book known to man, only to be more frustrated and downtrodden because it doesn't seem to work out for them.

The carrot can't be caught in other words...

Not to entirely frustrate you, but usually guys who are good at the 'game' were good at it already...or pretty good at it already...the only brain which thinks a bunch of lines and gimmicks are going to work is the same brain that led you to be frustrated, lonely, and socially awkward in the first place. Let me repeat that:

"the only brain which thinks a bunch of lines and gimmicks are going to work is the same brain that led you to be frustrated, lonely, and socially awkward in the first place"

In other words, your diagnosis might be a bit off.

The community - whether it's a competing company, a web-board, a lair..whatever - thrives on dangling a carrot out there in front of you claiming that your life will change in 13 seconds if you just buy this product...etc...

This methodology is certainly lucrative - just ask Tony Robbins - but it doesn't usually translate into success. THERE IS NO QUICK FIX TO YOUR PROBLEM...and anyone who claims otherwise doesn't deserve your attention, money, time, or bandwidth.

Most of what you read online is total BS by the way - the webboards which feature endless posts by supposed experts are normally 30% truth. I have watched so many guys doctor and change their posts to relay a much larger, and more glorified representation of the truth. HB6's suddenly are HB9's etc.

So, what follows is a reasonable expectation for you - something actually attainable - and not something designed to get you to purchase my products.

1) Begin - analyze your social life. How many friends do you have? How many are male and how many are female? How often do you see them? How often do you go out with a friend or a group of friends? How do you meet new women (if at all)? How do you make friends? If you have had a relationship, how did it happen? (In my experience, a guy tends to meet women the same way his entire life - so, if the last 9 girlfriends you had were met via another friend, my money is on the next one happening that way IN SPITE of how you feel about cold approaches).

2) Once you have written down some honest answers, give yourself SMALL goals to reach with a month's time to reach them. So, if your social circle is 5 people - try to double it in a month's time. Within a month, your circle has grown to 10...

3) If you don't meet 5 new people on a weekly basis, your social life is not active enough. If that is the case, you need to branch out. Here are some ideas:

- classes
- events
- openings
- parties
- hobbies
- friends
- cold approach (notice how this is one of 7 ways...)

MOST couples come together via social circle - NOT THROUGH COLD APPROACHING - so, why waste your time trying to get good at that when you can easily get good at the others, meet TONS of new women (and make cool guy friends) and improve your lifestyle as a result?

Why put your life on hold just to get laid? Why not accelerate your life forward, and then get laid or even....meet someone for a relationship...

4) Lead your social circle - study all about John Goddard, make your list, get started and then invite everyone else to come along for the ride...LEAD in other words. Become the magnet to mission, purpose and excitement.

5) And by the way - what IS your mission or purpose in your life anyway?? Do you know? If not, now would be a good time to write a bit about that and start to get an idea...nothing as unattractive as a loose balloon being blown about by the wind...

6) Go to a tailor and get fitted for your sizes right away. Never buy clothing that doesn't fit again.

7) Get in shape - go to the gym MINIMUM 3 times per week. And if you want to know...I swim...and love it...great for the mind, body, joints, you name it.

8) Clean your apartment - do it tonight. Wash the dishes when you're done eating, and make your bed in the morning.

9) Go to the dentist, and have your teeth cleaned. Be sure to correct any bad breath issues you may have. You might be the nicest, coolest, most handsome guy in the world - and with bad breath, you'll never see approaching lips...

10) Stop wasting your time doing things you like, and only go things you love...

Now remember, set reasonable expectations on your progress. Nothing worthwhile is going to happen in even a month. But a year from now - and trust me, that is not long and is WAY shorter than the amount of time needed to get good at the cold approach - you can expect very significant progress and change, if you are diligent and disciplined.

If you want a girlfriend, and a healthy relationship - YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME DOING COLD APPROACHES. You must create a lifestyle and image which are attractive and healthy - you can't have a healthy relationship with another until you have one with yourself - which means honoring your deepest wishes, and the precious time you have here on earth (this is first and foremost)! Stop wasting time...start really living, and watch as your entire framework for relating to women change.

And to finish the first paragraph - my job, as a reporter recently noted, is to rewire guys away from the community beliefs, into beliefs which actually serve and are rooted in REALITY...that's what I do about once per week...not bad, but a shame that so many well-intentioned guys get such bad direction from other equally clueless guys...

HOT Cold READING TIPS FROM IN10SE.....

2006-10-31T18:24:00.000-08:00

I received this from IN10SE's newsletter.  This great although it may be a
little too late to post.  Hopefully, before you guys go out you read these hot tips!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First of all, Happy Halloween! Halloween is probably one of my most
favorite holidays just because of the fact that you get to be
anything you want - if only for one day.

And that, my friends is KEY.

What people choose to be says a lot about their "shadow".

And I use this simple fact for some GREAT cold reading routines
which I'll give away later on.

But first let me tell you about the "shadow". Carl Jung was one of
Freuds colleagues and one of the major founders of Psychology as we
know it today.

He believed that everyone has a "shadow" - a side that they don't
show to the world. You see, he believed that we're born completely
whole
and as we grow and develop, the culture that we grow up in tells us
what's good (i.e. What to show to the world) and what's bad
(i.e.what NOT to show to the world).

And so we repress the parts of ourselves that we think are bad. For
women, this may be the powerful, dominant, sex driven parts of them.

But remember also the principle that "What is repressed - will
eventually get expressed..." often in ways that we're not aware of.

See the power in this? Everyone has a shadow... What if you could
get someone to "step into their shadow" with you... It is like
having the key to unlock the wild side of any lover.

Well my books show you how to do that.

But let me get to the cold reads... These are GREAT for
conversational openers and themes - and they lead right into my
shadow theme as well.

If you've read any of my material, then you know that this is the
only intro you'll need to take it all the way!

You open the cold read with:

"Interesting - you know what your costume tells me about who you
REALLY are?

If their costume is a:
1) Princess/Snow White/Sleeping Beauty/Fairy/Angel
- they believe in fairy tale endings
- they are romantic and idealistic
- they believe the world to be a place filled with magic and wonder
- they are soft hearted and warm most of the time
- they want to be "swept away" by their prince charming

2) Witch/Vampiress/Devil
- they have a dark "naughty" side that they let out more than
occaisionally
- they definitely have an edge and like to live life that way
- they tend to be physical types who are active and would rather do
something than just think about it all day
- they are pretty sexual and like power play
- they can be dominant in their relationships but in sex they often
like to be dominated

3) Clown/comedian/cartoon character
- they have a great sense of humor, most people don't "get" them.
- they tend to be optimistic and light hearted
- they like to laugh and have fun
- they don't like to take things too seriously

4) A schoolgirl/child/baby
- they see themselves as "innocent" or would like to return to a
stage in life when things weren't as complicated
- they love children
- they love to "play" and love to be taken care of
- they are attracted to authority figure types like "daddy" types

5) Schoolteacher/Nurse/Cop and other authority figures
- they like to be in control in their relationships but like to be
dominated sexually (at least some times!)
- they like to be served and pampered
- they have a "superiority complex" sometimes
- if they actually ARE the profession that they dress up as (i.e. A
"sexy nurse" that actually IS a nurse...etc) they ARE sexy
creatures and KNOW it!

6) HO/hooker/call girl
They ARE a ho!

Anyway, these are just a few for you guys to have fun with.

For techniques on where to go from the opener and how to powerfully
build a connection and escalate things physically then go to:

http://www.social-mastery.com

Enjoy!

IN10SE

Secrets to Successful Internet Dating

2006-10-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

I found this article on ezinearticles.com and it is written by Stephen. This received a lot of attention in ezine so I'm here to pass the information on. I also think he has another new great article on his blog on internet dating. Take a look at it here: www.ceimageconsulting.com.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Secrets to Successful Internet Dating

Many guys nowadays are going online to meet women. And why not? There are some great services out there, and we have all heard too many success stories to downplay the potential of meeting great women online.

For starters, the best online services are nerve.com, match.com and lavalife.com. They are the best because they are the most popular. Being the most popular, they give you the best choice.

If you are skeptical about online dating, join the club. But, before you write it off completely, go to one of the above sites and do a free search. That should convince you that there are many attractive women who are looking for men online. So, why not try it out?

It is the social norm for men to approach women. So, if you are out at a bar or club and you see an attractive woman, you will have to approach her to meet her. Women typically don’t approach men in social settings. They will signal their interest to you in many ways, but the actual “move” will have to be made by you.

The beauty of internet dating is that it gives women a forum to indicate what they want without it being embarrassing or socially “unacceptable”. This helps to simplify things for men too – before you even send your initial email, you know some things about her and what she is looking for.

Let’s cover some of the basic must’s to successful internet dating:

1) The most important thing to have on your profile is good pictures. This should be obvious. Initial attraction is so critical when beginning a relationship. If it is not there, the two people will never come together.

To give yourself a fighting chance, get some good pictures of yourself. I am not talking about getting a pro photographer in tow, but rather have a friend with a digital camera take 20-30 pictures of you. Pick out three to four, and use them to launch your profile.

It’s a good idea to put up a variety of pictures, such as: one in a suit, one dressed casually, one of you doing a hobby or conveying an interest of yours. Also, make sure you are smiling. Don’t be one of those guys that posts pics with his shirt off, or with Zoolander male model face. Those are basically female-repellant. And please guys, don’t make them pornographic – G-rated pictures only.

2) Next, you will have to send your initial email. This should be fairly short, but needs to be both funny and insightful. In other words, be sure to read her profile – let me repeat that – be sure to read her profile! So many guys send out standard emails to women online, and it is obvious to them that you have taken no time to read about her. If you read the profile, can make a light joke out of something she reveals, compliment her and share something in common, you have a strong chance of hearing back from her.

3) A great place to be humorous is in the subject line. She is more likely to open your email if it catches her attention. A great way to do this is with a humorous remark about something in her profile. Be sure to keep the humor lite, and never, NEVER, make fun of her picture.

4) As for the connection, be sure to quickly indicate that you have things in common with her. This helps to alleviate her anxiety about meeting you. If you have nothing in common, she will feel like there will be nothing to talk about and the date will be awkward and uncomfortable. For the purposes of the first contact, begin a conversation with her by indicating that you share commonalities.

To summarize, in the first email you want to cover these three things: humor, a compliment and make a connection.

A few final notes:

 Never use the “wink” function. “Wink”ing is for women to signal their interest to you. If she “wink”s, you send an email.

 Feel free to ask for her phone number after a couple of rounds of messages. A simple, “why don’t we continue this by phone? I am happy to call you. If you’re comfortable with that, reply with your number, and we’ll take it from there.”

 When on the phone, be sure to keep it very light, again using humor as much as possible. Talk for a few minutes, then arrange to meet her.

 The first date needs to be something where no $ is spent. Why? Sometimes, one or both of you are not happy with the look of the other. People often put up very flattering pictures, which don’t resemble their actual look in real life. So, meet at a gallery, or a park, or a free event. You don’t want to walk away from a first internet date having spent $50 on a meal do you? Meeting for coffee, in this case, is also a good idea.

 If you are out with her, and you do like her, a great compliment is: “You know, your pictures are great, but you are much more attractive in real life.” This way, you help her relax. She is definitely going to feel awkward with her appearance and will hope you find her attractive. Put her mind at ease, and about 20 minutes into the date tell her she looks great.

 Lastly, the first date is a total wash. It is really to see if both of you feel any attraction. Make no fast decisions about personality and style after a first internet date. Usually, both you and she are very guarded. Wait until the second date at least until you begin to feel out her personality, her values, her style etc.

 Last, but not least – and this may be the best kept secret to internet dating. Be sure you check out the profiles of the women without pictures. Why, you ask? Often, these women are VERY attractive and don’t have a pic up because they want to avoid getting 50+ emails per day from guys online. I am dead serious about this one guys. They post a profile in hopes that someone will actually READ it (hint) and treat them like a person, rather than a hot body. Be sure though that you get a picture from her before you meet her. That is fair, and she will understand. It is also true that very unattractive women do not include pictures.

So, good luck with the fascinating world of internet dating. I hope this has been helpful. As always, I wish you the best.

Your friend,

Stephen Nash
Cutting Edge Image Consulting

1-on-1 With Stephen Part II

2006-10-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

One thing I noticed about him, even though he didn't explicitly state it, is that he spoke very visually and kinesthetically that I could see why he's soo captivating. Add that skill with all the interesting tidbits about your life, and you're most likely the most interesting person people will ever perceive. I also noticed that Stephen was VERY Knowleagable, he has a huge vocabulary, and that added to his genuine curiosity and vibe, because as he was interlacing stories and baiting things about my life, he described everything in his Own words and using his own Descriptive words, which totally made it looked like he owned the experience and my life. Stephen has this quality because he's not only intelligent but he himself lives an interesting life, he's seen and travelled to many areas in the world, has lived and experienced many things, and his life seems so lively and fullfilling that he just never runs out of things to talk about.

This is EXACTLY why CEIC always encourages guys to challenge themselves, to actually live an interesting life instead of taking someone elses material and use it. It's a lot better to actually be congruent with your words with actions, since Stephen strongly emphasizes, "A girl will know that you've been faking it all afterwards, once you've dropped all the routines and the robotic performance, what have YOU got to show?" which is an EXCELLENT point to make. I am very fortunate to reach him first before I took any other workshop before, because I've seen and spoken to some wings, and some of them look completely mechanical and took the word ALPHA to whole a different meaning.

One thing I noticed about his difference between his approach and Juggler's method is the frame control. Juggler emphasizes that the girl or the group of people should be interesting, and your job is to make them look like it by charming and complimenting the set. Stephen on the other hand emphasizes that you should be interesting as well as steering the conversation in the art of relation, that you relate to everybody, and the frame should be in your world at first, to create a context and a vision of how your world looks like because in order for anyone to start a relationship, any relationship (business, girlfriend, friend, etc....), because to start ANY relationship each person HAS to get to know each other first. By opening yourself to get a girl to know you through baiting and storytelling, a picture of your world plants into the girl's head and she now has an idea of how your world is like, your personality, and values. In addition to that, add a little flirting, you have a strong chance of generating attraction. Juggler and Stephen both also emphasizes genuine compliments instead of using the most overrated tool, the neg. By complimenting her genuinely, you actually ease her and get her to open up, by showing you're actually focusing on the person and not on her looks. Add that with a nice, authentic, and gentlemanly demeanor, and you most likely won’t even NEED a neg because there won’t be a bitch shield to encounter.

He then broke down the truth about the bitch shield, and the reason why women puts it up is it’s because they don’t TRUST you the minute talk to her. That’s why he emphasizes not to dress outlandishly, and not to dress too conservative either, but to tailor your style to one the type of women you want to attract to your life. By dressing outlandishly and eye captivating in a way that you are “peacocking,” it’s an obvious signal to women that YOU are trying to get their attention. Stephen says that women of high quality would think you’re dressed childishly and immaturely.

Part III to continue......

1-on-1 With Stephen Part 1

2006-10-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

I wrote this around late this summer while my idea of creating a blog for myself was in the works. This is part one of CEIC's 1-on-1 Stephen, a deep, detailed inner/outer game work to cultivate oneself to become attractive to women. This review is very detailed so I decided to cut the review in half and post the other half later. I'm not entirely finished with it but there is a lot of information to get out from this review. I'm going to try to tell all my readers EVERYTHING that I learned from Stephen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was able to sign up a session with one of Stephen (AKA "Playboy from the Game") and the guy totally blew me away. I've always been a fan of CEIC ever since I purchased his Natural Attraction Audio last December. Stephen's approach to meeting women is almost against what's said out there in the community, but what's interesting is it seems like Tyler Durden is also starting to incorporate the same approach as Stephen's. I'll most likely write a review to his Natural Attraction Audio, which I think is one of the best sources to learn about dating. The reason why I like CEIC sooo much is because their step-by-step plan is soooooo easy to incorporate, sooo easy to personalize and take in as your own structure that once mastered, you'll be extremely smooth, socially savvy, and a total chick magnet (especially to women of high caliber).

One thing also differentiated Stephen from other Pick-up/Dating Instructors out there is that it was very personalized and I thought out of all of them, he was the most authentic. The first couple of hours was just him getting to know you, the qualities you like about women, your future goals, where you currently stand, etc. He takes all of these information, takes notes about you (mostly to e-mail you about what was talked about in the session and to give you more advice), and starts to have a small inner game session about your current perceptions and approach to living life and meeting women. He takes these tidbits of information and shows where you have limiting beliefs, what's holding you back from becoming your best self, and reframes these and then gives you lots of advice on how to achieve your goals.

His analogy of how a typical AFC achieves his goals (can also fall on girls), is that we tend to stay in the shallow water and are afraid to go deep ourselves or just stops pursuing at all after testing the waters, that we never find out ourselves what's truly at the bottom of the water. He claims that once you've encountered resistance and are being tested, that's when you know who you truly are, and this will reflect in your relationships with others. At first, I was totally confused and bewildered with what he meant by that but then once he started leading me SOCRATICALLY to know what it’s like to be a really attractive, a man with direction, challenging, and moving forward towards his goals, I TOTALLY understood this concept. Essentially, the reason why Stephen does this in the first couple of hours is to actually get you to PHYSICALLY step in to become an attractive man, one that attracts the type of women he likes/yearns for, and he does this by breaking down where you are at and then giving you advice on how to get your BEST self, which is getting those goals you've been looking into and actually growing the same qualities that you've mentioned you want from the woman of your dreams.

Basically his structure is ENGAGE, HOOK, and make QUICK CONNECTIONS, which is VERY simple and all you need to know are a few techniques such as his ultimate weapon: the art of baiting, the context of your life in midst conversation, interlace that with the topics you and the girl are talking about, add that with a little flirting (which Stephen doesn't highly emphasize very much, and if you're wondering why, I will get into that later), teasing, storytelling, and inner game, and you've become one the most charismatic, smoothest guys in the world. I was amazed while Stephen was doing demonstrations, he would use the little tidbits of information he knew about me and interlace them into stories and bait so much information about me in a topic, and he came off so congruent with everything, that he could've gotten away with being me (THANK GOD he's not into Identity Theft). He also came of as very Authentic, non-gimmicky, and very Natural, that everything he DID never came across as "I'm so full of myself I like talking about me" or “trying too hard” frame, and everything was in the context of the conversation that he came off as very GENUINE. The very skill of taking any context and using it to become interesting is an AMAZING skill and is one I would TRULY love to develop.

Recent Developments with My Lifestyle

2006-09-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

I currently stopped sarging after school started and decided to fully develop a lifestyle and a social circle that will bring me more women into my life. Sarging was certainly great and I learned a lot, but I feel like now is the time to use the skills I've learned from the Game and use it to develop more friendships to enlarge my social circle and to be more involved in social scenes. Instead of going to a random bar or Union Square and create a relationship with someone I've just met out of thin air, it is much easier for me NOW to meet women with some context and connection ALREADY in place. It makes meeting them A LOT easier than before and with the skills I've learned from the GAME, my success rate is much higher than before.

Also, after I stopped sarging, I'm starting to feel more emotionally stable. I've been really working on cultivating a lifestyle that not only builds up social value, but my economical and potential value. I am a college student and my identity as a student is really important for me to maintain. If I have to call myself a Pick-up artist, which has no value whatsoever (except to AFCs or guys who are desperately in need of women) then women have nothing more to see inside of me. But if I work hard to get good grades in school, and bait that in conversation as one of my values, my value to woman's eyes (especially to women of high-self esteem) grows. It's really important to build an IDENTITY and a LIFE to me because they are 90% of what I talk about. The other 10% are flirtatious/romantic comments and connection building. I think what most guys forget doing is building an attractive lifestyle and identity, thus limiting the women they attract towards them. Most advanced guys I know have good careers and interesting lifestyles, and so I've shifted my focus from a sarging mentality to building attractive qualities.

Some Answers About "Neediness"

2006-09-11T22:10:00.000-07:00

I took this from Stephen and decided to post this on my blog. This is really helpful and a great place to start to get yourself to become more attractive to women.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want to know the REAL reason women are turned-off by men? The answer might surprise you.

You’re probably thinking it has to do with your haircut, the pleats in your pants, or your bank account. In fact, it usually has NOTHING to do with these things.

I cover this in absurd detail in my ebook How To Get A Girlfriend, but here's a brief overview...

I remember being blown off by a girl in college. I had asked her out, and she gave me the classic, “Let me call you back, OK?” Well, I am sure you know the rest of this sad tale. She never called. However, I did run into her a few weeks later and asked her out again. I figured she had “forgotten” to call!

What she told me completely changed my life:

“You’re too needy, I don’t like that. I want a man I can trust, not someone who is clingy and needs me” (she emphasized "needs"...ugh)

Wow….my head spun for days. I couldn’t believe she had said that. And, what’s more, I couldn’t believe she could TELL after having only met me for 10 minutes!

Well, that began my journey to being successful with dating and women. The sting of those remarks has never left me!

What I learned over the years may surprise you. There are CLASSIC and CONSISTENT ways guys project neediness when meeting new women. Here they are:

1) Ask Too Many Questions: There is nothing wrong with being curious and inquisitive. However, if that is all you do when you meet a new woman, you are subtly telling her that you are seeking rapport with her while knowing NOTHING about her. There needs to be a balance of questions, statements, observations, stories etc. The amount of talking needs to be shared equally between the two of you - 50/50. If you find yourself rifling off boring questions like “Where are you from?”, “What’s Your Sign?”, “What’s Your Bra Size?”…you are in serious trouble. (Note: Check out this recent article of mine which covers this in greater detail)

2) Needy Body Language: A great tool you can own is the ability to read body language. Imagine a conversation where one person is leaning into another. Perhaps they are making a point, or perhaps they are trying to listen to what the other has to say. Which has the power? You guessed it – it’s the one standing upright, not the one leaning. How is your body language right now as you read this? Are you hunched over at your desk, or are you sitting tall in your chair? Empower yourself by changing your body language. Never lean in to a woman, and always sit or stand tall. There are no exceptions to this rule. Let her lean into you.

3) Weak Vocal Tone: If you are afraid of being heard, you communicate timidity, neediness and insecurity. If you project your voice, with a confident tone you ALSO say you expect to be heard and are confident in what you have to say. I cannot stress the importance of a powerful vocal tone – it is ESSENTIAL.

If you are able to master these, you will prevent the SYMPTOMS of neediness from appearing. However, the best and surest way to remedy these is to tackle the problem head-on. How do you do that?

Study this one word:

AUTONOMY

Now, if you want to clearly “get” why this idea is critical for you to understand, and why it is ESSENTIAL that you internalize it, then check out the CEIC Classic audio program Natural Attraction wherein I lead you through a step-by-step process to both develop autonomy (ie - a man leading his OWN life) while reducing your neediness and dependence upon women for validation and approval. I also help you develop an action plan to put you on the FAST TRACK for success. This of course includes countless tips and strategies for actually conversing with women - but it is the ONLY product which collaborates with you to help cultivate a fulfilling and empowering lifestyle.

So, enough of being needy and clingy with women. You are destroying your chances before you even start!

As always, please let me know if you have any questions by posting below. It's always great hearing from guys.

As always, good luck!

Stephen Nash.

The True Definition of Success

2006-09-04T00:59:00.000-07:00

I just remembered this old post that used to motivate me A LOT on all areas of my life. This post is definitely one of the best contributions IN10SE has ever made in the community.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey man,

Maybe at some level people think that when someone has "arrived" at success they don't have anything left to motivate them.

But really I don't think there is any such thing as success because it is defined in the moment by who you are and how you rise to each opportunity and challenge.

Screw the static definition - because by definition, if someone defines themselves by one moment in time or one achievement in time, then they get stuck in that time - and stop moving on into the future.

There is no failure - only feedback - there is no success - only feedback... be the best you can be in any given moment and let the moment define who you are.

Deep - I know... sometimes I surprise myself ;)

IN10SE

FR: HBAsian9

2006-08-23T22:09:00.000-07:00

I was in Forever 21 with MikeNYC and I spot a very attractive Asian girl looking at herself trying out new clothes in front of a mirror. I walk up to her and told her I just saw her a few seconds ago while I was right next to her and I’m eager to meet her. She was a bit surprised and taken aback, because my approach is very random. I start running my structure, directly open and compliment. The first compliment stuck but it wasn’t effective because it still wasn’t genuine enough. I then lead the conversation talking about age (I forgot how), and finally after telling me that she’s years older than I, I tell her that I actually prefer older women in most cases b/c most women at a young age tend to play a lot of games. I do this with penetrating eye contact and I could see the effect it had on her. Dominance and genuineness was planted in her head, and then I started doing more rapport. I tried to lead the interaction to do more attraction but she didn’t bite my funny story. MikeNYC comes in and says a random joke/tease, but she didn’t laugh either. I started thinking in my head what this girl laughs at b/c obviously nothing so far the seduction community recommended has worked. This has been the case with a lot of asian chicks unless you act silly.....

So I vibe a bit more in a upbeat rapport by asking her fun questions but this girl is not totally into it. I knew it was because of her comfortabiility to laugh or to open up, yet I knew I had attraction because she allowed me to be with her while waiting for her friend in the dressing room. When her friend came out, I noticed the friend had a tatoo and seems more on the adventurous/dangerous side. I’m thinking, this girl MUST laugh at least on something sarcastic if she’s hanging out with this type of girl. So, I ran Style’s best friends test routine and they giggled lightheartedly. I knew then that they had a certain sense of humor they laughed at, but unfortunately the conversation ran out of context at that point and I couldn’t do any callback humor or topic, since we didn’t really vibe in that way. I just vibed with both of them and I went for the phone number while we were on line to pay for her friend’s clothes. She didn’t give it to me, and told me she doesn’t give out her phone no. But she gave me her e-mail address anyway, and I googled it and found her pics.

I later realized, that I should’ve isolated her instead b/c 1) she wasn’t buying any clothes and 2) She may have felt conscious since I was asking for it in a line.

What I learned. I’m going to learn cold reading and some SS. TokyoPUA seems to be successful using these techniques when it comes to PU. I’m going to grab a few routines such as the three magic questions, cube, strawberry fields, and EV routines to get Asian girls in bed. I think the key to their seduction is more emotional connections (I have reasons to believe Asians are more of the emotional type than the physical type IN10SE mentioned).

Cameron's Freedom To Exist

2006-08-13T21:21:00.000-07:00

I've been browsing around for old posts that really made a difference in my life. This Article, The Freedom to Exist, really touched me when I first read it. I believe this is what we are really striving for when we are learning game. I'd like to recycle it back again into the community again as a reminder of what we are really here for.

The Freedom to Exist

This article will seem like just good old plain common sense. Yet, nobody in the community is really addressing it and I know it is a problem for most men.

I know it is a problem because I teach workshop/seminars a couple of times a month and I see it first hand and it’s advice that can save you a lot of time and wasted energy.

If you are beginning your journey into the community, I’ll modestly say that this is one of the most important things you’ll read.

Some of you have goals and objectives while learning this “Game.” Others just take it one day at a time.

If you are going to set objectives in this game, make sure at the very top is the freedom to exist.

Well, what the heck does that mean?

It means if you are going to set up goals for yourself, your eventual goal is to believe so strongly in yourself that you can walk up to anyone and be comfortable.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? And yet, it is so difficult.

This is not a goal that is achieved over night. It takes time and effort and you must work towards it. I have met and winged with some of the best of the best as far as this community is concerned, and I can tell you that even a lot of those guys haven’t achieved this.

Why is this so?

Let’s backtrack a little bit. Sometime last year, my partner, Ranko AKA Shark, started to popularize the direct “I like you opener.” He was criticized and insulted to no end and

Even when it appeared that everything he was saying was accurate, his critics never acknowledged him.

The reason for this is two fold:

A. Some guys in the community are insecure to the point that they can never give credit to anyone for they think it will diminish their guru status.

B. Some guys still do not get it!

These same critics who still do not get it, refer to “Direct game” as a tool. These critics claim that “Direct is a good tool to carry.” In fact, they refer to everything as a “Tool.”

Here is what I want you to understand:

DIRECT IS NOT ABOUT THE OPENER! IT’S ABOUT A MENTALITY!

The direct style is about a state of self-belief not often found in community PUAs regardless of how much success they have achieved.

Lacking these internal belief structure, the PUA will often resort to looking at things through a different lens. He looks at everything through the frame of techniques and tactics, henceforth completely missing the point regarding the self-belief.

I recently heard an incredibly well known PUA on this board label direct as a “Frame Control” Trick. This indicates that to this person, everything is still a technique, not an organic and natural process.

To truly not give a shit and have such a strong self-image to approach anyone is not a trick. It is not a tactic.

It comes from the power of belief and it comes from a deeper place.

It takes time to get there. It helps if you realize what it is you should be focusing on.

You go in with the mentality that “I do NOT need to resort to trickery and tactics” in order to get a chick.

I am not saying that “Tools” are bad in general. There are some tools that are useful at some point.

However, to be able to just be present and a relaxed cool individual is to be able to free yourself of constantly reaching inside your bag of tools.

Even the tools are not tools. I’ll explain:

One of the things I teach to guys is the art of story telling. Now, two years ago, I probably would have thought that this is a great tool to have.

However, having the ability to tell stories in an interesting and captivating manner is not a tool.

It is forcing you to make a fundamental change in yourself. Once you learn how to tell a proper story and be interesting, you will have made a permanent change.

You are no longer reaching in your bag silently thinking to yourself, “Aha, I will pull out my tool of “Story telling” at this point in the pickup. It will be the equivalent of photon torpedoes and will weaken her deflector shields.”

No!

You just become a more interesting person who enjoys sharing a good story or two because you have internalized good story telling and now it has become second nature.

Again: This article is not about an opener, and it’s not about the words that you say when you approach a woman.

It’s about a STATE OF MIND. It is about a PARADIGM SHIFT.

It is about what Seth Parker talked about in his article “Confident Rapport.”

It is about what Woodhaven talked about in his natural game article.

It’s about a mentality to be able express oneself without pretense. You may even use some situational opener to open conversation. For the tenth time, the opener is not the point.

It’s also not about having cocky/funny as a tool.

You want to be confident and playful? Fine! Do so because you are a person who enjoys having a good time and one who enjoys teasing people. Don’t do it because it is a tool you pull out of your hidden bag.

I recall, many years ago, watching “The Lost Interview” with Bruce Lee where he talked about expressing oneself and the difficulty in doing so.

Bruce said, “It is easy to for me to put on a show and be flooded with a cocky feeling, and then feel pretty cool, or do some phony things and be blinded by it, or show you some fancy movement..... but to express oneself honestly, not lying to oneself, to express myself honestly......That, my friend, is very hard to do.”

I also recall not completely understanding what he was discussing the first time I heard this interview. He is very correct, however. It is easy to put on a fancy show and try to impress people, but to honestly express yourself is very difficult.

The chief goal of any self-help environment ought to be trying to get you to feel comfortable in your own skin and be at peace with yourself.

To genuinely feel and exude that is difficult.

To me, being able to express yourself without excuses is the ultimate state of alphaness.

Yet, what do you usually find in guys who are “Trying” to be alpha?

Firstly, let’s understand this: You have a lot of guys who are trying to prove that they are alpha. Well, if you are “Trying” to be it, then you really are not alpha.

I constantly run into such guys who are trying to be alpha: Their behaviors manifest themselves in two ways.

A. They act like jerks, they behave in a standoffish manner, they try to ignore people as though these people are beneath them, and they exude other similar pompous behavior.

This is obviously the behavior of an insecure person. If you are comfortable with yourself, you don’t need to mistreat someone to give yourself status. Isn’t funny to realize that in many cases overindulgence in arrogance is actually driven from insecurity?

B. They try to dominate every conversation. They must at all times be the center of attention.

This second category is really easy to notice. You can have a group of 5 guys talking and you’ll see one guy constantly cutting people off to interject his point of view and constantly striving to get attention.

If he is not interjecting to get his point in, he is drawing attention to himself through wisecracks or other juvenile behavior.

His starvation for other people’s attention becomes laughably obvious and after a while, it becomes annoying.

This also is deeply rooted in insecurity.

Thus, to be genuine and comfortable, you do not need to be a jerk, and nor do you need to be the center of attention every single minute. You can be in your space and if someone else has the floor, you can listen comfortably because you are secure in who you are.

You are not there to prove anything. You can enjoy someone else’s words because you are actually listening to that person speak, and not worrying about what you should say to garner attention back to yourself every step of the way.

Whether you consider yourself a novice in meeting women or somewhat experienced, you should always keep this ideal in mind.

Not being comfortable with who you are manifests itself in so many ways.

It will drive you to try and impress people all the time.

It will drive you to continually search for more pickup lines.

It will drive you to many times behave like a pompous jackass.

It will drive you to constantly try and bring attention to yourself.

It will drive you to impress people by whom you have sitting next to you.

It will drive you to impress by telling people what kind of a cool car you have, what celeb you met, or how much money you just made.

It will drive you to be socially frightened.

It will drive you women away from you.

Thus, making “becoming comfortable with who you are,” is one of the top priorities.

While it is not the only priority, it should be one of the top messages emphasized by gurus giving dating advice in the community.

Instead, guys are chasing their own tails trying to learn more openers, more cute lines, more patterns, more negs, more cocky/funny, more, more, more............

When is it going to end???

It ends when you realize that probably the biggest reason you are at this cross road is because you are not comfortable with who you are.

It takes a bit of an ego check to admit this, but admitting is the first step to progress.

I’ll be honest with you: I have met nearly ALL of the gurus in the community and even a lot of them are not completely comfortable in their own skin either, despite their success.

It is not an easily achieved feat, but it is what your master goal should be.

People are not comfortable with themselves and they build layers to mask that discomfort. Instead of helping peel off the layers of façade, most people in the community advise people to hide under more layers.

I meet some strange cases. I meet people from the community who have built so many false layers of “Game” on themselves that I don’t know who the fuck I am talking to. One minute, they are trying to be alpha, and the next, they are running a routine on me, and then they are trying to qualify me.

I am not a guru and I am not some super monk sitting on top of the mountain being at one with the Universe. We are all at different levels of comfort. We are at different stages in our journey.

However, I want to make sure that people are focusing on the right issues and that this focus will help them achieve their desired states.

Once again, if someone is socially awkward then it is logical that he would seek to remedy that situation. However, to crawl out of the hole of social ineptness onto the plateau of a socially savvy person is not a tool. It is about that person making fundamental changes in himself.

Similarly, becoming comfortable and being able to exist and walk through life in a manner where you feel good about yourself, and in a manner where you feel the freedom to exist and express yourself is not a tool.

It is not a tactic!

It is not a routine!

It is a paradigm shift in your thinking, beliefs, ideals, and behavior!!

It is about a strong enough self-image where you don’t feel like you must carry your invisible bag of tools at all times or you are doomed.

IT IS ABOUT THE FREEDOM TO EXPRESS YOURSELF WITHOUT EXCUSES.

IT IS ABOUT THE FREEDOM TO EXIST.

IT IS ABOUT THE FREEDOM TO BE.

That, my fellow community folk, is attractive.

Cameron

A Clear Definition of "Smooth"

2006-08-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

smooth
Pronunciation: 'smü[th]
1 : Having a surface free from irregularities, roughness, or projections
2 : free from difficulties or impediments
3 : even and uninterrupted in flow or flight
4 : excessively and often artfully suave : INGRATIATING

"The One" said in his 2005 Cliff's list presentation, "What does smooth mean? Look. Be smooth, man. Be suave. Be cool. But you can't quantify that. You can't explain that. How can you tell a guy who's not cool to be cool?"

Although he answers the question by teaching the principles of being playful, having fun, express yourself, etc, I think he only half-defined what smooth really MEANT. I believe that there are many guys in the seduction community that can consider themselves "Smooth" verbally, but I realized being smooth, or suave is not just a verbal attribute. The biggest underlying factor that will truly determine that you are smooth is Emotional Intelligence.

By the way this article is not about Touching or Escalating Smoothly, or suavely moving, this is about being smooth in a social interaction or a social setting. Usually this trait is IMPALPABLE, yet subtly noticeable.

Here are the REAL keys to being smooth:

1) Relaxed, Calm, and Poised Body Language.
2) Staying Cool and Calm even in the face of immediate distress.
3) Displaying that YOU are an Easy Person to talk to and being able to captivate and involve someone's attention.
4) Being SENSITIVE to Social energies and knowing how to amp or tone down the energy.
5) Being able to read Emotional Cues and knowing how to handle them.
6) Allowing yourself to be fully available to the person or group of people (BEING in the MOMENT), and allowing the "Flow" of the interaction to be steered and guided by you (Center of Attention).
7) Knowing what and how much energy to project.
8) Not being stuck in one emotional state of mind.

Let me Explain.

1) Relaxed, Calm, and Poised Body Language
Having a relaxed, calm body language shows you are open, easier to communicate with, and have the potential to be uneasily fazed in trying circumstances. Poised shows that are you assertive, composed, masculine, and dominant.

2) Staying Cool and Calm even in the face of immediate Distress.
Excercising emotional control in social interactions is VERY important. Social Status is partly determined based on how well you can keep yourself cool especially in threatening situations. This demonstrates leadership, masculinity, and assertiveness.

3) Displaying that YOU are an Easy Person to talk to and being able to captivate and involve someone's attention.
Imagine this. You are talking to a guy that's clearly really really mad at you and telling you his hundred reasons why he's soo pissed at you. He's not allowing you to talk and he's constantly talking about his problem with you. Or, in another situation, you know someone that can SPEAK, but speaks and doesn't captivate your interest or he's not allowing you to be more involved in the conversation. Would you consider these guys smooth at all?? I highly doubt anyone wants to be around a person that's hard to communicate with. Everyone wants to be able to demonstrate themselves to anybody and be accepted, as well as be involved in the interaction without being bored.

4) Being SENSITIVE to Social energies and knowing how to amp or tone down the energy.
Not paying too much attention to the social energy demonstrates insensitiveness. This shows that a person is out of context. For example, being too loud in a public library. It's also important to know when and how to amplify tone down the energy. Being able to do this shows leadership and effective caliberation.

5) Reading Emotional Cues and knowing how to handle them.
The ability to read emotional cues is an ETREMELY powerful skill. This is very helpful because this skill gives a good idea what current emotions a person is feeling. This helps you determine what tool to use in the interaction and what to do next. (i.e. knowing when the girl is attracted and moving to the comfort stage).

6) Allowing yourself to be fully available to the person or group of people (BEING in the MOMENT), and allowing the "Flow" of the interaction to be steered and guided by you (Center of Attention).
Being in your head too much is going to hurt your ability to be in the interaction and to lead the interaction.

7) Knowing what and how much energy to project.
In this case, it's about knowing what energy and how much energy to focus on to be in context of the topic. A good way to think about this is, imagine someone talking about a great adventure, yet he has a BORING tonality or isn't projecting adventurousness, enthusiasm, and happiness.

8) Not being stuck in one emotional state of mind.
Staying at a playful, fun state, a vulnerable state, a serious state, and not being able to transistion from one state to another will hurt your chances of projecting different sides of yourself. Being able to flexible is important especially when tuning yourself to different energies.

Becoming smooth is essentially getting into a "FLOW" state. Focusing just on verbal attributes is just not enough to become a REAL smooth operator. Verbal attributes can be developed through tons and tons of practice as well as developing and knowing topics and interest. But, essentially it boils down to having these traits/attributes within you and allowing yourself to be part of the wavelength of the interaction.

Notice that to get here, a lot of inner game issues must be resolved. To really have these characteristics of being smooth, it really must come from within and it will be externally projected automatically.

How To Transform Yourself From A Follower To A Leader

2006-08-01T20:42:00.000-07:00

I've always been fascinated about how some people are Leaders of their group, either that or how some people attracted followers towards them. I was a follower MYSELF and this question plagued me for YEARS ever since I met first natural friend who had everyone's attention on his side all the time. My friend Patrick, I first met him on 8th grade when I moved to the town I'm currently living. At that time he had a girlfriend, and a groupie of kids that was always by his side. The group would not come along together if he wasn't there and that made it really obvious to everybody that he was the leader of the group. I chatted about it with some of my friends that's part of the group privately, "no one else would come together unless he was there" and it baffled me until I found the seduction community and met Stephen.

Now I, coming from a lonely background, have always been fascinated observing these kinds of magnetism, attractiveness ever since I was child. I'm not surprised at all starting a blog talking about my experience learning the social dynamics. I've been a student of it since I was 10, because that's when I first moved here to the States and realized I had no skills at all to make friends (where I came from I was almost completely isolated due to parental issues, higher economical value, and demography). Since then I've always been a follower, sometimes fell into the wrong crowd, and was a slave to the Society's Standards.

I spoke to Stephen about this. I told him, "I've always found myself to be a follower not a leader. I never knew how to be one."

Stephen says, "Write this down and look him up. He is your new guru. John Goddard is his name."

"What's so special about this guy?"

"John Goddard wrote at the age of 15 a list of 127 goals he wanted to achieve in his lifetime. He went for it 100% and lived his life PASSIONATELY AND to it's FULLEST. Did you think he had any boring conversations? NO! He did what he wanted to do and he attracted people that had similar goals/values. That's what you need to do. Go home, sit down, and write 127 goals you've always wanted to accomplish and the minute you finish, DO IT. GO for it 100% and you will attract people with the same goals, same values as you do."

So I started thinking how does this apply to Patrick? Other than him being very genuine and authentic, playful, trustworthy, and very relaxed and cool (like Stephen), he knew what he wanted. He was good at basketball, and most of the time I've played with him, he was the one that was ALWAYS consistent and ALWAYS worked hard in the game. He also always knew where to go and where to hang out, he knew every ice cream flavor he wanted, he had a taste in music, and he knew what wanted to do and went for it most of the time.

Essentially, HE KNEW what he wanted, he developed lots and lots of Interesting Activities, and people that didn't really know what to do, don't have that many interests, or have interests but never really went for it were attracted to him. He was also good at making solid connections, which made people trust him much more and thus MAGNETIZING everyone people with similar interests towards him.

This is great because this is exactly what CEIC is all about, developing yourself to the Kind of Man that represents himself with POWER and INTEGRITY. I was glad to have met a friend with this presence and am able to relate it to my audience.

I was glad to be able to discover the VERY secret of becoming a leader, and I would've still been lost until Stephen paved the way to the right direction.

P.S.
Kudos to my friend Patrick. He's always have been the genuine guy I've known since 8th grade and has never changed.

Take a look at John Goddard's Lifelist here.

Picking Stephen Nash's (AKA "Playboy") Brains

2006-07-30T23:15:00.000-07:00

After a 6-hour day of one-on-one consultation with Stephen Nash AKA "Playboy" from Neil's "The Game," and I got a chance to ask him A LOT of questions regarding attraction, skills, Project Hollywood, inner game, etc. What's great about Stephen is he is really knowledgeable, really knows what he's talking about, has a lot of great stories about Project Hollywood, and the most important of all - the authenticity and genuinity to tell you everything you ask him. This won't be review of his 1-on-1 Afternoon Consultations and about his CEIC but I will be talking about a few tidbits about what I learned from him. I'll be posting that soon and it will be lengthy and It'll be everything I got out of him. It's always good to be around guys like him because he knows a lot about women you'll learn soo much from him in such a short time and what's really GREAT about him is he will point you to the right direction of ATTRACTING the woman you really want.

What's awesome about Stephen is he taught in a more SOCRATIC way, meaning instead of giving you exactly the right answer, he would ask you about what you thought first and steered you towards the right answer. A lot of people (and I do this too) is we want instant answers and most of the time we don't really think ourselves. Good mentors really enhance students how to find the answers themselves, which leads to better, smarter, and more creative students. Stephen really cared and really pointed me in the right direction of getting what I want out of dating and my life, by asking the right questions and showing me the way to the right answer. Sometimes, I didn't like his answers but I knew that he was right.

"What you really want to get is a girlfriend, yet as of right now you're having a string of one-night stands, so chances are you're not going to be getting one sooner." Stephen says, after quoting himself from a past client to give me an example. "You might not like the answer I'm giving you right now, but truthfully you are going to have to accept it to get what you want."

So to my readers and to the seduction community, I present to you answers to Frequently Asked Questions by men new to dating.

Me: I really don't know what I want out of this. I've been in it for a year and I'm in the middle of whether I want to be a PUA or just have a girlfriend. It really bothers and confuses the hell out of me.
Stephen: Would you accept the fact that you are confused and you don't know what you want to allow yourself the freedom to try out new things?

Me: If the Woman is attracted, do I still run anymore Attract material?
Stephen: No, drop the material if she is attracted. Just be playful so that the interaction isn't boring.

Me: Do You think it's necessary to do MM/RSD tactics like takeaways, timed body language movements, etc.?
Stephen: What do you think? Do you think a woman of high-caliber will really believe that you are disinterested or interested by timing all of your movements and doing takeaways? Don't you think she will smell your falsity?

Me: Do you think it's necessary to hide our insecurities?
Stephen: No, instead of conquering insecurity, accept it. You can't win against insecurity because we will always have it. You may not like it, but we're just people. Don't hold it back. Even revealing your own insecurities can actually make a connection and it shows that you have integrity and a genuine person.

Me: Can I call a girl's phone number the day I get her phone number?
Stephen: Sure, why not. Invite her to a party with a bunch of your friends to show you are social.

Me: Can I set up a day 2 with a girl the next day I get her phone number?
Stephen: Sure, but keep in mind though that the next day you two are "hanging out with your friends" and she is welcome to come along.

Me: What does qualifying Yourself exactly mean?
Stephen: Qualifying means you talking about all the proud things about your life such as I own a bike shop, I'm the no.1 soccer player in my high school team, etc.
Me: But while I was baiting to this girl, I felt like I was qualifying myself. I was adding details about my life but she wasn't asking me questions about them and she just stood there even though she was attracted to me. What am I doing wrong?
Stephen: The real reason why you think you are doing something wrong is because you thought that she wasn't interested in the little details you were adding. It doesn't mean that she wasn't interested in what you were saying, it means she wasn't interested in those little details which doesn't mean anything. If you know she's attracted it just means those little details you were talking about weren't at all her interest.

Me: Is it really necessary to spark a high buying temperature?
Stephen: What does "spike buying temperature" mean to you - what do you mean when you say this? A The idea of spiking buying temperature, in short, means to flirt/tease into a state of laughter and intrigue - I assume that is what you mean. In our lexicon, it is in the hook phase - which really means that they are more interested in having you stay than leave. My experience with BT is that they are very engaged with the conversation, but that by no means increases your chances of a date - and I've seen this happen to others too. Spiking BT makes the PUA feel good, and the girls temporarily, but oddly enough it rarely translates to actual dates. Your goal is to just be flirtatious and funny enough - too much laughing/giggling nonsense instantly means the "player card" which you don't want.

Me: Is it really necessary to learn routines?
Stephen: If you aren't comfortable flirting, then by all means grab a few funny routines/lines/gimmicks to lean on to teach you the SKILL.

This is all I can come up with for now. It's 3:50 AM in the morning and my brain is fried. Hopefully this information is very helpful to you all.

Naturals Clearly Defined

2006-07-22T22:56:00.000-07:00

I just got off the phone with a friend who is a natural but also is part of the community. When I first met him and he's only been in the community for a few months, I knew that this guy got laid. How did I know? From pure observation, he conveys lots and lots of positive, confident, laid back energy. I saw the same exact energy from Lance Mason, outgoing, confident, positive, laid back, you could almost feel it and grasp it.

You knew that they got laid just by seeing it in their face! I also have a coworker whom I knew the minute I started talking to him was a natural. He had the european, masculine, sexy vibe (I'm not turning gay, at least not yet : ) and it radiated from the way he spoke, his actions, etc. These guys are just truly confident of themselves, they are loud, they don't give a fuck what people think about what they say, when their confidence is tested they exude even more confidence, they convey and lots of personality, but most of all they really really demonstrate the "I Don't give a FUCK" personality.

Gentlemen, this is where YOU want to be. It doesn't mean that you say "I don't give a fuck" it means speak loudly, masculinely, and when you get tested think of it as a small bump in the road. Guys, REAL naturals are the ones that are truly on top of the social ladder, they are the ones that put the social pressure, and they have social skills to maintain it. This is what we're working on here in the PUAdom. To become a complete Natural.

Flaunt your masculinity. Don't worry too much about peacocking, just dress nicely with an identity congruent with the one you are trying to build or is congruent with. BE somebody. Secondly, I also noticed that people that tend to try hard is trying to be congruent with a personality that they are not adjusted to. I can totally understand if you are trying to become masculine, sexy, playful, fun, flirty, and upbeat, (which is essential in attracting women) but if you are trying to take on a frame that's not congruent with you, DON'T DO IT. Period.

The Real Reason Why She is Going To Like You

2006-07-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

When first I entered the seduction community, I was totally clueless how to attract a woman. I think most guys that join the community feel short or clueless just like I did and is really in search for the holy grail to attraction. I don't think many guys came here to first learn how to 'Seduce' a woman, I assume most men are looking to 'attract' a woman. Secondly, I don't think most guys came here looking to get LAID all the time, I think most guys that joined the community are looking for a girlfriend of their dreams just like I did. Until of course, we became intoxicated/consumed by the power we think we are about to gain once we started absorbing tons and tons of attraction/pu lines and techniques.

Until I came to the realization, with the help from guys like DJ, Playboy, and Mike2velli, that all of these things are totally unecessarry. If you are still reading tons and tons of material that's going to give you lines, gimmicks, routines, etc, then you are only holding back your Evolution and real Development of interests, which are really what you have to cultivate to become an attractive man.

I remember spending soo much time reading and listening to so much material and I trying out so many systems that it never really helped me evolve until one day I burnt out and told myself to f' all of it and work on my natural game.

After looking back from my past experiences and what I Consider my best pick ups, I realized they all felt very natural, and all I did was a display of my confidence, masculinity, being fun/playful, hinting sexuality, baiting personality, and building REAL connections. I even felt comfortable asking questions, but before, everytime I asked a question, I felt I was under the impression I was seeking rapport, which is considered totally AFC in the Seduction Community.

Guys, attracting women isn't all that difficult. What's difficult is becoming an attractive man. An attractive man is one that lives a life full of positive emotions, that isn't afraid to flaunt his masculinity and sexuality, and demonstrates his presence by radiating his confidence and personality. You can think of all the techniques you want, but underneath all of that, if you don't have the masculinity, confidence, and personality, all the gimmicks, routines, and techniques will fall flat in front of you.....

Introduction

2006-07-08T22:47:00.000-07:00

Gentlemen,

My name is Sir Galahad, and if you ever wonder why I call myself this name, is it's because I like his personality. During the Medieval days, Sir Galahad was considered one of the "Perfect Knight" since many thought he was perfect in "courage, gentleness, courtesy, and chivalry." After analyzing Zan and Stephen's character, I found that these men carry these very same characteristic traits, and these men walk in the world surrounded by beauty. I have met Stephen personally, and bar none he is one of the most AUTHENTIC, GENUINE persons I have ever met.

My goal in this blog is to tell the tale of my adventures and experiences in search of the "Holy Grail" to Seduction. I am tailoring my own style and personality to one like Stephen and Zan, because I truly believe these men have REAL CHARACTER, and they are truly the most genuine people I have ever seen. I have never met Zan personally, but I've seen and liked his presentation on CLiff's list. I have met Stephen Nash (AKA "Playboy from the Game") and I really love listening to his philosophies on how to become a truly ATTRACTIVE man. He is going to give a speech tomorrow in New York for the NY-PLAY lair and I am going to write details on it so no one can miss this out. I also have his Natural Attraction Audio and have taken a one-on-one Afternoons with him so please look out for those reviews in the future.

I've been involved the seduction community for almost about a year now, and I've been in and out of it as I first have been focusing on reaching my goals and building an abundant lifestyle. I truly believe to attract the woman of your dreams, you must have the SAME qualities the woman of your dreams have. Therefore, I've been building myself up ground up first, and then start to actively pursue women. Since it's the summer time for me (I'm a college student), I've been going out in the field with my wings and try to learn the art of attraction altogether.

When it comes to my philosophy of ATTRACTION, I am none-believer on canned, and/or structured game. My whole persona is against it since I like to be GENUINE, AUTHENTIC, and just to be MYSELF when it comes to interacting with women (or people, generally speaking). Canned material is GREAT as learning crutches to smoothen out your interactions, but I instead (thanks to Stephen) look at canned material as a taste of skill. I first look at a routine and think about what social skills are in play. I think with that frame, you unleash your CREATIVITY and REAL social skills in the field. Overall, I try to focus on building SOCIAL SKILLS instead of reading, writing, and remembering routines (It's a lot more work IMO). Overall there are six social skills to master to become the "NEO" of the "SOCIAL MATRIX:"

Engaging
Flirting/Teasing
Listening
Storytelling
Escalation
Caliberation

Once mastered, girls will perceive you as one of the smoothest men on Earth. And this is totally without the need of any routines, gimmicks, or magic tricks to fool women to like you. Personally, I think it's a lot harder to achieve building up skill without using any routines, but I'm ready to fail because my true goal is just to be "MYSELF" around the women I'm actively pursuing. I would admit that I still have approach anxiety since it's LONG time since I've been consistently doing this, but once I unleash that approach machine and confident guy again, there's no stopping me building up my skills.